Capture her - Change her apperance - Let her mourn - Marry her or not

Deuteronomy 21:10 - 14

You really don't love her... or do you?
This link is interesting interpretation and connection to the problems of assimilation and interfaith marriages...

Change her appearance:
Why cut the hair and 'do' nails? (not clear if that means cut them off or let them grow)
1. It is an act of mourning
2. To make her unattractive
3. To show her change of status

An interesting set of directions for how to treat the captured woman who "captures" the soldiers' desires.

Let her mourn for the traditional 30 days:
As in Numbers 20:29 when Moses mourned for Aaron for 30 days - and it is noted again in Deuteronomy 33 when Moses dies.
But another thought is that in the 30 day period after capture you would know if she was pregnant by another or not.


And then there is the option to marry her or set her free:
OK so at the end of the 30 days he may still want her OR maybe he decides that she isn't as great as he once thought.
So the decision would be either marry her or set her free.... but he cannot sell her into slavery or treat her as property at that time.

OVERALL there are several interpretations:
-per Rashi - it is not good to focus on physical characteristics for a good marriage.
-there are long term ramifications to war and the responses to victory and the ethical values of life away from war must be enforced even during war.

This portion starts the transition to family laws in Torah.... so there will be more on this...