Sibling Rivalry and Mandrakes

Torah Study with Rabbi Marder 7 July 2012  (from Howard S)

• The continuing saga of Leah vs Rachel as a sibling rivalry
• Sylvia Rimm, Psychologist [from www.sylviarimm.com]: 

In addition to genetic differences, competition among siblings does affect the development of other children in the family, and may be the most important reason why children raised in the same way are so different.  Sometimes, second or third children feel inadequate by comparison to a first sibling and thus search for different areas of expertise. Parents often reinforce those differences because they want to encourage self-esteem in each child and also fear that the second or third child may not be as skilled as the first child. That process often results in parents labeling their children.  

Leah the fertile one; Rachel the lover.

• Sibling rivalry can continue into adulthood and sibling relationships can change dramatically over the years. Events such as a parent’s illness may bring siblings closer together, whereas marriage may drive them apart, particularly if the in-law relationship is strained. Approximately one-third of adults describe their relationship with siblings as rivalrous or distant. However, rivalry often lessens over time. At least 80 percent of siblings over age 60 enjoy close ties. [Wikipedia.com]
• An anecdote showing that sibling rivalry, once quieted, can erupt later [from “How to Care for Your Mother” by Annie Murphy Paul.  New York Times Book Review.  May 27, 2011.  The Book reviewed is A Bittersweet Season.  Caring for Our Aging Parents — and Ourselves by Jane Gross.  Alfred A. Knopf)]:

“Their squabbles over how their mother should be cared for only intensify a longstanding sibling dynamic, as the author candidly observes. ‘My self-righteous behavior was surely not helping . . . but rather hardening the old stereotypes of good-goody sister and screw-up brother, which had been tamped down until this situation kicked up all the old dust.’”

• Examples of sibling relations in Shakespeare
• King Lear’s daughters
• Richard III and brother Edward
• Kate and Bianca in Taming of the Shrew
• Orlando and Oliver; Duke Frederick and Duke Senio in As You Like It
• … in TV and film
• Bart and Lisa Simpson
• Malcolm and Reese in Malcolm in the Middle
• Michael and Fredo Corleone in The Godfather
• Let’s not forget Cain vs Abel, Jacob vs Esau, and Joseph vs his brothers.

14. Reuben went in the days of the wheat harvest, and he found dudaim in the field and brought them to Leah, his mother, and Rachel said to Leah, "Now give me some of your son's dudaim."

15. And she said to her, "Is it a small matter that you have taken my husband, that [you wish] also to take my son's dudaim?" So Rachel said, "Therefore, he shall sleep with you tonight as payment for your son's dudaim."

• 30:14 on mandrakes (דוּדָאִים) dudaim
• Reuben goes out during the wheat harvest (Shavuot), typically May, and finds dudaim.

Anita Diamant’s take on this event in The Red Tent (page 47): “Rachel tried every remedy, every potion, every rumored cure [to get pregnant]… Of course, when anyone … found a mandrake – the root that looked so much like an aroused husband – it would be bough to Rachel and handed over with a wink and a prayer.  Reuben once found an especially large one, and brought it to his auntie with the pride of a lion hunter.”

• What’s a “mandrake?”
• According to Rashi, a “mandrake” is an herb, [called] jasmine in Arabic.
• It’s in the nightshade family and its root resembles human torso. 
• Sarna [JPS Torah Commentary.  Genesis, page 209] on the pharmaceutical properties of this plant.

It’s a small, tomato-like fruit ripens during early spring.  Chemical analysis reveals it contains “emetic, purgative, and narcotic substances, which explains its widespread medicinal use in ancient times.”  The plant also has a “distinctive and heady fragrance;” this, along with a human torso shaped root, suggests that the plant was considered an aphrodisiac.

• The term דוּדָאִים resembles the word for beloved, דּוֹד, which appears in many biblical verses in different forms [Sarna, pages 209, 365].
• Song of Songs 7:3-14, 1:2-4
• Ezekiel 16:8, 23:7
• Proverbs 7:18
• Josephus – use dog’s strength to pull mandrake out of ground and die a vicarious death, i.e., dog dies instead of you [cited in Chidiac, Elie J. et al,  “Mandragora: Anesthetic of the Ancients.” Anesthesia and Analgesia, special article published ahead of print May 14, 2012.  This article, a PDF found in a Google search, had more background on the myths and legends of this plant and its early use in surgery.]
• Rambam comments on the superstitions about this plant in his Guide For the Perplexed, 3:9.
• Some believe that it’s a charm that facilitates pregnancy.
• Even Shakespeare got into the act.
• Othello (Act 3 Scene 3) – as sleeping potion or sedative
• Antony and Cleopatra (Act 1 Scene 5) – the Ambien of those days.
• Romeo and Juliet – as she’s taking the sleeping potion, her mind wanders, thinking about life and death, about awakening in a field of bones or in a sealed vault.  Her senses are assaulted "with loathsome smells, / And shrieks like mandrakes' torn out of the earth” (Act 4, Scene 3)
• John Donne, ”Song”, about virtuousness vs beauty, a cynical poem.  ”[The poem] is an example of some of the humorous works Donne would come up with for the drunken jokers of English taverns to recite when out of favor with the ladies … Donne uses the fantastic and impossible examples of catching falling stars; pregnancies with mandrake roots; and hearing mermaids singing to describe just how hard it is to find a beautiful woman who will stay true and loyal to her husband (from http://bestword.ca/John_Donne_Song_Go_and_Catch_a_Falling_Star_Analysis.html, accessed 8 July 2012).

Go and catch a falling star,

Get with child a mandrake root,

Tell me where all past years are,

Or who cleft the devil's foot,

Teach me to hear mermaids singing,

Or to keep off envy's stinging,

            And find

            What wind

Serves to advance an honest mind.

If thou be'st born to strange sights,

Things invisible to see,

Ride ten thousand days and nights,

Till age snow white hairs on thee,

Thou, when thou return'st, wilt tell me,

All strange wonders that befell thee,

            And swear,

            No where

Lives a woman true and fair.

If thou find'st one, let me know,

Such a pilgrimage were sweet;

Yet do not, I would not go,

Though at next door we might meet,

Though she were true, when you met her,

And last, till you write your letter,

            Yet she

            Will be

False, ere I come, to two, or three.

• Eliezer Ki-Tov commentary - human knowledge vs deeper understanding; in this case there is more going on, a mystery.
• 30:14-15, why this story is told:
• Rashi - [This is] to tell the praise of the [progenitors of] the tribes. It was harvest time, and he did not stretch out his hand upon stolen property, to bring wheat or barley, but only upon an ownerless thing, which no one cares about. — [Genesis Rabbah 72: 2].  I.e., Reuben is an honest guy.
• Sforno – Reuben saw that his mother was depressed because she had no more children, so he wanted to help.
• Ramban – he brought only flowers for fragrance, not medicine.  Rachel doesn’t need this; she has faith in God – see v. 22 [not 17] – not the mandrakes that cause pregnancy.  

Ramban first cites Abraham Ibn Ezra, who questions the efficacy of mandrakes to facilitate conception.  Then, he writes, “[Rachel] wanted them … to enjoy and take pleasure from their scent and not for medicinal purposes.  For it was through prayer that Rachel’s barrenness was alleviated, not through medicinal means.”

Rachel did not conceive until several years later in verse 22 – and God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and He opened her womb.  Ramban was a physician and skeptical about the alleged benefits to facilitate conception. [Blinder, Yaakov.  The Torah: With Ramban’s Commentary Translated, Annotated, and Elucidated.  Bereishis/Genesis Volume 2.  Brooklyn, NY: Mesorah Publications. 2004]

• Some class comments on this story: 
• Sisters come together; they finally talk to each other.
• Editor’s choice … a delaying tactic to alleviate boredom of the story
• Motif of Leah’s unhappiness over Jacob’s lack of love and motif of Rachel’s unhappiness at lack of children come together.
• People are constantly looking for human ways to implement God’s will.  They are not convinced of God’s control.  Yet human desperation is not necessary; God is always operating quietly in the background.
• Mirror of the Jacob-Esau exchanges: Rachel says, give me mandrakes; Esau says, give me lentil stew.  In each case, it’s a desperate plea for some plant substance [was Rabbi Marder being facetious?]
• Alter – first dialogue between sisters. 

Alter writes, “The narrator has mentioned Rachel’s jealousy of Leah and Rachel has referred too ‘grappling’ with her sister, but his is the first actual dialogue between the sister.  It vividly etches the bitterness between the two, on the part of the unloved Leah as well as of the barren Rachel.  In yet another correspondence with the story of Jacob and Esau, one sibling barters a privilege for a plant product, though here the one who sells off the privilege is the younger, not the elder.”  [If Rabbi Marder was not being facetious, perhaps Alter was.]

• Samson Raphael Hirsch has a contrary view – it was not a serious transaction.  “It is hard to imaging that Leah, whose whole life was centered on gaining the love of her husband, would say with any seriousness, ‘you have got my man, and now you want my dudaim also?’ as though any importance can be attached to a few dudaim; as thought these are of any significance in comparison with one’s husband’s love!

“Rather, it appears that the whole episode is a reflection of the friendship that marked the relationship between the two sisters.”  After the boy Reuben brings the dudaim from the field and Rachel requests some of them, Leah answers jokingly, “what a presumptuous request!” but then gives the dudaim to Rachel.

• Norman Cohen [Self, Struggle & Change, Jewish Lights, 1995, page 143] points out that it is Jacob who is bartered [instead of a birthright].
• Cohen further comments (page 143) that Rachel wanted what Leah had: good relationship with son; Rachel wanted to be close to a child, another layer of poignancy; Jung – each is a shadow of the other.

Cohen writes, “[Rachel] desperately need some of Reuben’s [mandrakes].  Rachel desired what her sister had – both Leah’s fertility and the very close relationship … with her firstborn.  May she means, ‘Please give me some of your son’s dudaim – your son’s love and affection.  Whatever Rachel desires, we know how important it is to her as well as to her sister when Leah exclaims [in 30:15]: ‘was it not enough for you to have taken my husband, that you would also take my son’s mandrakes?’  Rachel desire for the mandrakes is seen to be a crucial in Leah’s eyes as her winning Jacob’s affection.”

The triangle relationship among Jacob, Rachel, and Leah takes a twist because (1) Jacob is being bartered and (2) Leah as the older takes the initiative, in contrast to Jacob and Esau where the younger Jacob initiates the bartering.  Leah comes across as wanting to take advantage of her sister, as did Jacob with Esau.  In each case, Esau and Rachel thought of short-term gratification.

“Just when we seem to have a handle on one or all of the characters … they change… As sides or shadows of the symbolic whole, we should not be surprised when they act in completely contradictory ways.  We, too, occasionally behave in very different ways, exhibiting our contrary sides.  Yet, we derive hope that we can bridge the sides of our own natures from the coming together of Leah and Rachel.”

• Novelist Lynne Reid Banks (Sarah and After.  Five Women of the Old Testament.  Pages 133-134) tells the story using figs instead of mandrakes.  Leah is unhappy that Jacob will not longer sleep with her.  Zilpah suggests that figs might help.  Although Leah was skeptical, she asks Reuben to get some.  As he brought the figs into Leah’s tent, Rachel shows up and asks Reuben for some of them.  Leah refuses, “with a knife in her voice.”  She and Rachel argue until a bargain is reached.

“’[Rachel proposes] Give me some of the figs and say a prayer over them to the God of women Who blesses you with a son each time Jacob comes to you.  In exchange, I will send him to you whenever you wish, until you again conceive.  After than I shall have no power to withstand him.’

When Leah asks, “how can you do this?” Rachel responds, “I can do as I will with him.  That is not your concern.  Give me the figs and bless them.  If the gods will it, we shall both have sons.”

• Leah’s response in 30:15 - And she said to her, "Is it a small matter that you have taken my husband, that [you wish] also to take my son's dudaim?"
• Ramban – Leah is the nursemaid and housekeeper, implying that Rachel is a trophy wife.  Ramban writes that Leah’s actually asked, “Is it an insignificant thing for you that you took my husband for yourself, as if you his man wife and I were the maidservant, that you now even make yourself a mistress over me to take the dudaim whose sent I am enjoying?”  In other words, Leah believes that Rachel’s “taking of my husband” and “taking the dudaim” implies an attitude of superiority over her older sister.
• Midrash – Jacob’s primary residence was with Rachel; yet Leah has all the children.  Should he be living with Leah?
• Rashi – it's a question, but seems sarcastic.
• Women’s Commentary (page 167) – the sisters are ready to give what the other wants; they collaborate and appear to reconcile.  “The turning point in the sisters’ relationship comes with their readiness to enter into an exchange – to give each what the other lacks.  Symbolically, Leah is willing to give fertility (via mandrakes) to her barren sister and, in turn, Rachel gave Jacob to Leah, who longs for his love.  Whereas Jacob will fist draw a truce with God (32:25-31) and then negotiate an icy peace with his brother (33:1-17), Rachel first strikes a deal with her sister and then wins the ability to [pro]create from God.”
• Rachel’s response in 30:15 - "Therefore, he shall sleep with you tonight as payment for your son's dudaim."
• Sarna (page 209) – verb יִשְׁכַּב, “lie with,” is not used in sense of marital relations – it’s demeaning and basal.  “The pathetic nature of this barter arrangement is underlined by the striking fact that the verb ב–כ–ש, when employed in Genesis with a sexual nuance, never connotes a relationship of marital love but is invariably used in unsavory circumstances.”

Used elsewhere in Genesis:

• 19:32-35 Lot and daughters
• 26:10, Avimelech and Sarah
• 34:2,7, Sh’chem and Dinah 
• 35:22, Ruben and Bilhah
• 39:7,10,12,14, Potiphar’s wife and Joseph

… and many other places in the bible

• Jacob seems to be the pawn here since the women manipulate him; it’s his comeuppance. 

16. When Jacob came from the field in the evening, and Leah came forth toward him, and she said, "You shall come to me, because I have hired you with my son's dudaim," and he slept with her on that night.

• 30:16, Jacob coming in at the evening
• Jacob was a dedicated worker; he worked a full day until dark.  This verse is the basis for halacha on day’s labor, although the law had not yet been given [Me’Am Lo’Ez (Rabbi Ya’akov Culi, 18^th century Turkey, written in Ladino)].

[From Genesis Rabbah 72:4 and Mishnah Bava Metzia 83a-b] “If one hires day laborers and subsequently stipulates with them to arise early for work and to remain at work until dark, the law is as follows: If they live in a place where the laborers are accustomed not to arise early for work nor to remain until dark, he has no right to compel them to do so.”

When someone hires workers, he can stipulate the length of the workday.  The Mishnah applies to when no such stipulations are offered.  The Midrash continues to discuss when a laborer’s workday begins and ends, including on Friday.  However, the employer cannot compel people to work longer than is customary.  There is even more detail in Gemara Bava Metzia 83b.

• Leah comes out to meet him and gets assertive, “you will come to me tonight,” used as though they were having sex for first time.  Norman Cohen writes (page 142), “This surely [her name is Leah, not Shirley] is not the quiescent, vulnerable and self-deprecating Leah … encountered before. לֵאָה  וַתֵּצֵא, va-tetze Leah – Leah went out to the field to meet him, as Rachel had gone out to shepherd the flock … in the past.  The roles seem to be reversed as Leah behaves much more like her younger sister.”
• Deliberate use of ב–כ–ש suggests that he did stop sleeping with her.
• I have hired you – שְׂכַרְתִּיךָ. Pirke Avot 2:20 (2:15 in some compilations), "The day is short, the labor vast, the toilers idle, the reward great, and the Master of the house is insistent."  In other words, life is short so don’t waste time on trivial pursuits.  Instead, study Torah – however difficult -- as God insists and where the rewards are joy and happiness.  In this case, it appears that Leah is the insistent one.  She doesn’t have much time left to procreate; giving birth and caring for children is difficult but the payoffs are great.  So, she says, let’s get down to business!
• Alter – Rachel and Leah come across as imperious and bitter; Jacob is exhausted and allows the women to manipulate him.

Alter writes (page 160), “In his transactions with two these imperious, embittered women, Jacob seems … acquiescent, perhaps resigned.  When Rachel instructs him to consort with her slave girl [Bilhah], he immediately complies, as he does here when Leah tells him it is she who is to share his bed this night.  In neither is there any report of response on his part in dialogue.  … That Leah uses this particular idiom for sexual intercourse (תָּבוֹא אֵלַי, literally, ‘to me you will come’), ordinarily used for intercourse with a woman the man has not previously enjoyed, is a strong indication that Jacob has been sexually boycotting Leah.”

• הוּא בַּלַּיְלָה, that night – should be ההוא; הוא refers to ha-kadosh baruch hoo.  
• Rashi/Munk – God was present with them and allowed the conception to occur.  [Munk] Use of הוא is an indirect reference to the Holy one, blessed be He (הוא ברוך  הקדוש).  Recall that in 29:35, Leah is described as no longer giving birth.  It was divine intervention that allowed her to have two more sons.  [Rashi] “The Holy One, blessed be He, assisted that Issachar should be born from that union.”
• When a child is born, there are three partners: man, woman, God.
• Radak [Rabbi David Kimhi, 12th -13th century France] - Efficacy of dudaim is shattered – it was God who was responsible.

17. And God hearkened to Leah, and she conceived and bore Jacob a fifth son.

18. And Leah said, "God has given [me] my reward for I have given my maidservant to my husband"; so she named him Issachar.

• 30:17-18 - Issachar is an odd name.  [I’ll bet Leah didn’t think so.]
• Radak – there is a reward for good deeds:  שָֹכָר יֵש  (yesh sachar).  
• Sarna commentary (page 210):
• The same root שכר is used for Leah “hiring” Jacob in 30:16.  This gives a folk etymology for the name Issachar.
• Verse 18 follows directly from 30:9, where Leah stops consorting with Jacob and offers Zilpah.
• The phrase שָֹכָר יֵש, which also appears in Jeremiah 31:16 and 2 Chronicles 15:7, is an affirmation of divine presence in childbirth.
• Pronounced with one שֹ though spelled with two. יֵש  + שָֹכָר = יִשָֹּשֹכָר  
• Munk - This tribe was devoted entirely to study of Torah, as stated in 1 Chronicles 12: 32, The sons of Issachar … had an understanding of the times, to know what Israel should do; their chiefs were two hundred, and all their brethren obeyed their word.  
• Just as Leah was “rewarded” for birthing Issachar, the descendants of Issachar will receive their reward from studying Torah, as it is written in Mishnah Peah 1:1, the study of Torah encompasses and exceeds the all other mitzvot combined, and in Proverbs 8:21, “There is substance to give inheritance to those who love me, and I will fill their treasuries.”  Rashi reads the “there is,” יש, as “there is with me a great inheritance [to those who love me].”  
• Also, the word יש, “there is” in Proverbs, is an allusion to שצר יש, there is a reward [Me’Am Lo’Ez, citing Zohar].
• But what is the reward in studying Torah?  According to Ibn Ezra, יש can also mean an everlasting possession that is acquired for eternity.  According to Chafetz Chaim, “those who love me” [“righteous” in other translations] need to be reassured about the “great inheritance.”  The reward for studying Torah is immeasurable, but the word יש shows that God has sufficient resources to grant merit to all who study Torah  [cited in Ginsberg, Eliezer.  Mishlei.  Proverbs.  A New Translation with Commentary Anthologized from Talmudic, Midrashic, and Rabbinic Sources. Volume I. Brooklyn: Mesorah Publications, Ltd. 1998]
• One opinion is that Issachar must have been born on Shavuot, he and his descendants were destined to study Torah [Me’Am Lo’Ez, footnote]
• Dinah’s birth, why different?  Stay tuned.