Cain and Abel and Parenting

Genesis 4:1-6 R. Marder at Torah Study


“An Eden Moment” - to recognize the goodness and a glimpse into the perfect world...

Quote from blog found: “What’s an Eden Moment?” you might wonder. An Eden Moment is a precious glimpse at perfection. It’s hard to describe because each glimpse is unique. But Eden Moments have one thing in common: You feel suspended out of time, if only for a moment, embraced in the perfect presence of the Great I AM. An Eden Moment is the Ecclesiastes 3:11 taste of eternity which God has set in our hearts along with the time and season for all things.

On Parenthood:

Honor Thy Father And Mother by Gerald J. Blidstein

We are not created by ourselves. We need to acknowledge and honor others.
Parents must carry the love of God to the next generation by teaching Torah and blessing the children and giving a channel for love of God.

R. Marder then read from a Mormon essay by Spencer Kimball about the role of mothers to provide mortal beings for the spirit children of God.

"Mothers have a sacred role. They are partners with God, as well as with their own husbands, first in giving birth to the Lord's spirit children, and then in rearing those children so they will serve the Lord and keep his commandments. Could there be a more sacred trust than to be a trustee for honorable, well-born, well-developed children?"... She who gives the child life is first and foremost the one to give it a way of life, teaching the child what it should or should not do. She encourages strong character formation as she teaches the child to impose limitations on some of its natural instincts. By her words and actions she teaches her child the regard that should be shown other individuals if that child wishes to be included and loved as a member of the family circle, later as a member of society, and finally as a participating member of the kingdom of God.” -President Spencer W. Kimball

A good reflection on the role of parents, their responsibility as a conduit for God’s teaching.

Side note: The extra ‘et’s (Hebrew) in the passage about birth may be a reference to Cain and Abel’s twin sisters (mentioned in my blog last time)

Story of Cain and Abel – The Farmer and the Herdsman
Returning to a discussion of Cain and Abel


Wikipedia has a wonderful analysis here with input from different religions:
choice of profession:
interesting article by Avi Lazerson link:
The elder son follows his father’s profession and the younger son finds another career.

Samson Raphael Hirsch reflection on the differences between these professions.

He explains that the name hints at a decisive element in Kayin's character: a strong attachment to the physical goods and pleasures of this world. As does his livelihood, perhaps: the Torah chooses to tell us that he was an "oved adamah", a "worker of the ground." Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, zt'l, suggests that Kayin's choice of farming as a profession might well have reflected, and reinforced, a tendency towards enslavement to the physical, besides developing other unwelcome traits: " "...the worker on the land comes to worship the forces of Nature on whose influence the success of the fields he serves is visibly dependent. The agricultural peoples were the first to lose the pure consciousness of G-d and humanity, there slavery and polytheism were first begotten." (Hirsch Chumash--I, p. 97)

The implication that Abel’s profession would lead him to a stronger desire for material possessions... Vs. the herdsman who was a nomad and had less desire for material goods. (This was argued and discussed of course!)

Jared Diamond book Gun, Germs and Steel certainly explores the nature of nomads vs agricultural workers
(interesting link discussing this)


When Cain murders Abel – does this mark the change from primary focus on the nomadic life to agricultural?

The Offerings: Cain – offered the fruit of the ground Abel – offered the best of his flock
God praised Abel for his offering did not recognize Cain’s offering as well... This opened the floodgates of fury from Cain...

Interpreted so many ways by so many sources – Question: Did Abel kill an animal to make the offering? Is this the beginning of blood sacrifices?
(interesting analysis) (This made me think of the possible misinterpretations that could be dangerous.)


And another good question: Was God unfair to Cain?

One class comment interpretation that was different: Was this all misunderstood and God really destroyed Abel’s offering because the offering from Cain was preferred? And thus it was all about misunderstandings?

The basis for the Steinbeck novel and movie “East of Eden” - Son number one offers money to help the family – but it is money raised because of the war. (tainted money) and the offering was rejected. Son number two announces his engagement and is accepted as a ‘worthy’ gift. This initiates a disastrous situation between brothers...

It is also about the spontaneity and intention of giving. Cain’s gift was from the heart and a reaction to his appreciation, Abels gift was a reaction to his brother’s gift – but he brought the very best that he had. It is the motive for giving that is essential and there is a question if it is more acceptable to give from sheer gratitude or to give by suggestion of others. Is it the quality of the gift is more important or is it the intention that should be considered first?

It is God’s reaction that seems wrong here. And yet, is it a common reaction of a parent to gifts from their children.

The Rabbis use this story as an opportunity to look at how we give gifts. The intention is the important element in giving. But it is also the essential lesson about receiving gifts that is key in this story.

R. Marder ended with a true story from Self, Struggle & Change : Family Conflict Stories in Genesis and Their Healing Insights for Our Lives: by Norman J. Cohen

There is reference to the Steinbeck novel East of Eden and how it parallels the story of Cain and Abel and a sibling rivalry story from Norman Cohen’s own experience.
He tells the story of how his own children taught him this lesson. His son gave him a spontaneous birthday gift of all his allowance saved. And before thinking he immediately Cohen told his son that money was not an appropriate gift. Then the daughter went and got a picture she made in school and gave it to him as a gift and he praised here for the lovely gift made ‘especially for him’. Then he realized what he had done.

This story happens again and again – we tend to hurt those we love without intention but by oversight and not thinking ahead.